No Turkey, but Tombstones

When the sun rose on Thanksgiving morning, I inhaled a deep breath.

It was a holiday like never before.

As a family with a baby and toddler, no relatives nearby, no help with childcare, and both of us as healthcare workers, we had been running on empty since March. How our chests ached, yearned to see our family! But we chose not to travel, and told our family not to visit us, for everyone’s safety during the pandemic.

Despite our sheer exhaustion, I was still thankful. We’re still alive, thanks be to God. (As I write this, there have been 1425 healthcare workers who have died in the U.S. from fighting COVID.)

Unraveling

She frowned and kicked her feet in frustration.

“We have to be apart right now.”

“But I miss Baba!!!” she wailed.

A few months ago, my husband decided to quarantine in a separate room, just in case. He had some symptoms, and we didn’t want to risk getting me sick (since I have asthma), nor our young kids.

Ring…. Ring….

“BABA!” my daughter exclaimed. Her eyes lit up as she looked at the screen.

Then, a pair of brown ears and an animal face appeared.

“You’re a monkey?!?!” she giggled. We had never used the animoji setting on Facetime before.

Her laughter was a fresh breath of air; it gave me the boost I needed to get through the longest, most exhausting days.

~ ~ ~

A few weeks ago

Bright sun light poured into the room. But it didn’t wake him. He probably arrived home around 4 or 5 a.m.

I took one glance at him, then ushered my baby and toddler towards the stairs. “Let him sleep. We have to stay far for now. Just in case.”

He was wearing a mask… while sleeping.

Sinking Sand

are sunny days ahead?

“I threatened to walk out unless they gave me a real mask… it’s a tourniquet stapled to the mask. I barely pulled and the staples tore away.”

“That’s totally unacceptable!” My jaw dropped open, reading the text from my former classmate, the maternity nurse. “Did you get a real mask?!?” Anger filled my throat; I swallowed it to try to calm down.  My breakfast sat on the table untouched.

What is That Sound?

Rays of hope shining through gray skies.

Over a month ago

Thump, thump!  Staccato steps hurried down the hall.

“She is wearing a mask,” my coworker whispered.  Seeing the patient in the hallway, she ducked into our office to distance herself.

In the setting of a pandemic, I thought it’d be normal to see people wearing masks.

But I understood. We were all a little scared.

~ ~ ~

Clink. 

Forks dropped against porcelain plates in the sink, as my husband washed dishes at home.  “What if one of us gets sick? Who will care for our kids?” He worked in the hospital, and they were preparing for the worst.